Monday, June 20, 2005

- Iraqi Torture Cell Planted by Karl Rove

Sources (vetted by Jim Lampley) reported today that the Iraqi Torture Cell, recently discovered by Marines in Iraq was actually planted there by Karl Rove as a way to divert attention from Senator Turban's passionate comments about Gauntanamo Bay.

Turban said, "it appears that after my comments on Thursday, Rove transported some of the prisoners who were being tortured at Gitmo to Iraq and staged them in a house so they would be "discovered" by the Marines. This was a very sinister method of distracting the American people from the the real issue of Equal Rights for Terrorists. If I hadn't already told you that it was Rove, you would certainly think I was talking about Hitler. Of course, I support our troops, so it must have been those Haliburton contractors that did this which means Cheney's involved. We need to appoint a special investigator so we can find out where these orders came and we can impeach Bush."

Rep. Jon Conyurs said, "We know Rove stole two elections. We know that he leaked the name of a CIA operative to retaliate against ambassador Joe Wilson. And, we know that he was behind that fake but accurate memo that got Dan Rathernot fired. This latest incident has got his fingerprints all over it. Therefore, I will be convening more fake hearings to generate histeria among my left wing supporters and random conspiracy theorists who are joining our cause. I am the Chairman you know!"

Senator Dodo said he would also demand an investigation on the Iraq torture cell as he wanted to ensure that John Bolton wasn't part of this plot before he agreed to a cloture vote on his nomination.

Senator Clinton was not available for comment as she was busy filing divorce papers.
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