Thursday, July 07, 2005

- Democrats Upstage Republicans on Supreme Court Nominee Hearing Advisors

A spokesman for Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee announced today that in response to Republicans appointment of Fred Thompson as an "advisor" to the President's Supreme Court nominee, they would appoint their own team to "advise" them during the upcoming hearings.

The spokesman made the following statements, "Everybody realizes that actors are enlightened people that provide our society with wise council. Adding an actor to their team was definetly a Roveian scheme. But, Evil Karl can't beat us when it comes to acting and we are adding two actors to our team.

Everyone knows that Fred Thompson plays District Attorney (DA) Arthur Branch on the TV show "Law & Order" (aka L&O). But, no one knows that he is a real lawyer and was a real US Senator because those details aren't important. It's the publics perception that counts.

We are appointing Steven Hill and Carey Lowell as our advisors. Steven played the role of DA Adam Schiff on L&O for 9 years and most people think he was better than Diane Weist or Fred Thompson. Also, he appeared in the movies, "Legal Eagles", "The Firm" and "The Trial of Sacco & Vanzetti". We think his legal credentials speak for themselves.

Originally we wanted Angie Harmon as the second chair, but we found out she is a Republican from Texas. What a huge disappointment! Next we pursued Stephanie March who played Assistant DA Alexandra Cabot on L&O SVU. But, we couldn't get her because Bobby Flay has her waiting tables at one of his restaurants. So, we settled on Carey Lowell who originally played the same role as Angie Harmon before. Carey is a former bond girl and married to Richard Gere. The celebrity couple will give us additional publicity when Richard accompanies Carey to Capitol Hill and lectures Congress on Buddhist philosophy as he did with the FDNY after 911."

Thanks to Outside the Beltway for Beltway Traffic Jam

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