Monday, July 11, 2005

- Martha Stewart Speaks Out on Behalf of Lil' Kim and Judith Miller

<<-- picture of Lil' Kim in her prison cell

Today, during an episode of her latest cooking show, "Calaboose Cuisine", Martha Stewart went off scipt and launched into an emotional tirade in support of her convict friends, Lil' Kim and Judith Miller.
Stewart said, "All three of us have been victims of lying men and we were all incarcerated due to a miscarriage of justice. For example, I lied for Sam Wacksal but he was stupid and greedy and got convicted anyway. I should have been let off like Richard Scrushy since it was all Sam's fault. Lil' Kim was convicted of lying for a man while Puff Doodles was acquitted on similar charges. Judith lied for Karl Rove and was sent to jail unlike Matthew Cooper who was let go with no charges."

She continued, "I think the blatant sexism perpetrated against Kim, Judith and I is obvious. I call on all women to protest this treatment by boycotting all household choirs and withholding sex until things change. Let face it, the men can go without sex, but there is no way they will be able to survive if they have to cook, clean and do laundry."

Asked for comment Lil' Kim said, "It is unfortunate that I find myself in this position but I will stick to my principles."

Judith Miller said, "I'm goin' on a hunger strike. These punk ass bitches can't make me eat nuthin'. I got my wall street cred to uphold. Noam sayin?"
Hat Tip to Six Meat Buffet for We Are All Lil’ Kim!
Thanks to Outside the Beltway for Beltway Traffic Jam

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